Layers

My dear reader!

Yesterday evening I was dusting off my old memories and spend time reading about the name I was given by my spiritual advisor. For that purpose I was reading from book, called "Teachings of Lord Chaitanya":

"The Lord then began to explain each and every one of these words. As far as the word ātmārāma is concerned, the Lord explained that the word ātmā means (1) the Supreme Absolute Truth, (2) the body, (3) the mind, (4) endeavor, (5) intelligence, (6) conviction and (7) nature. The word ārāma means enjoyer; therefore, anyone who takes pleasure in the cultivation of the knowledge of these seven items is known as an ātmārāma."

This clearly indicates the multilayer of personality. I recall Shrek, explaining to his friend Donkey layers of his personality. He gave example of an onion.

Donkey at the first meeting, unknown to himself, was seeing the inner layers:

Shrek: "Listen, little donkey! What am I?!"
Donkey: "Hmm.. aaa.. Really tall?"
Shrek: "Noo!!! I am an ogre!... Does that not bother you?"
Donkey: "Nope!"

Later on, in another conversation Donkey says:

- "You are so wrapped in your layers, you are afraid of your own feelings!"

I hope these videos are still available on YouTube, when you read this.

In my search for truth in my advisor I have found real friend, who see all my layers and always come back for me, because - "that is what friends do!"

In whatever layer of my multilayer being I am currently wrapped in, he is willing to help me and - he is able to do so, because he understands ALL my layers.

I wish you all to find such a friend, who is not your friend just for one of your layers, he will be next to you in your search deeper self, when you discover new layer of yours.

Some may find also example of Russian dolls very relevant. 

Hmm, there is seven dolls as well! may be accident, may be not.

Another part of my name, related to be enjoyer, asks for another post. In it I will talk about another layer, but tis time about layers of joy, pleasure, satisfaction, happiness and bliss.

Than k you for your time

Wish you all happy discovery of your layers!

Atmarama dasa.

Dust

Good morning, my dear!

If you ask me, who I am addressing today, it is you - my reader! 

My dear mind, I have not forgotten about you too. You are also my dear friend! Every time I talk about memory, desire, want and do not want, like and do not like, please understand that I mean you, my der mind. These are your affairs and I can not do anything without you.

Common sense is reminding me, that it is not very good to spend time in writing like this during my working yours, but because you keep reading this, I want to keep your attention going.

Some 5 centuries ago there was one pure soul born in Muslim community. Due to his good learning and sharp intelligence he was chosen by Muslim king to be his minister of internal affairs. King himself was spending most of the time in conquering other countries and all the duties to look after welfare of his kingdom was left to Dabir Khas, that was his name at the time. As pure soul, he was attracted to devotional lifestyle and decided to spend extra time studying scriptures and associating with holy people. he wrote to king Husain Shah that he can not continue his work and take sick leave. I do not want to write anything to my boss yet, since I am doing my main duties more less, but following good example of this honest and pure soul I also spend some time in studies and associating with people, who also are on the same path od cleansing their hearts.

You may ask again, what is the title all about? Please listen with undivided attention. i will give two examples to make my point.

Few days ago, I was in our country house and there is roads crossing each other just next to the house. Those who are not been there, you are welcome to visit, others - please come again. So, one of these roads are not covered with tar and every time some car or tractor passes, there is more dust every day, since weather is dry. That dust covering everything around and it is hardly possible to see more than 5-6 meters, what to say about nice scenery and blooming flowers in fields close by. There was one old newspaper left outside, which after month was covered with layer of dust so thick, that no one can recognize a letter, unless the dust is removed.

The same day we talked with my mother about her experiences while cleaning a house. There are matter not as bad as with newspaper, but she likes to keep her room and kitchen clean and she is doing that just before she is leaving house for city. When she comes back, she feels happy and satisfied, because on arrival, everything is clean and it feels like a home. Still, the cleaning itself takes a lot of her time and energy. Doing cleaning at the age of 78 is not an easy task. Also, she realized: "When I look at my room after 2 hours of intense work, it looks almost same. Any person (add I just can guess, she meant also me) will not see the difference, but for me it is so different. I feel better." 

To round up my dusty topic I will quote first verse from Shri Shikshashtakam - eight step instruction poem, which from Sanskrit also can mean eight step pats for one , who wants to follow.

Glory to the Sri Krishna Sankirtana, which cleanses the heart of all the dust accumulated for years and extinguishes the fire of conditional life, of repeated birth and death. This sankirtana movement is the prime benediction for humanity at large because it spreads the rays of the benediction moon. It is the life of all transcendental knowledge. It increases the ocean of transcendental bliss, and it enables us to fully taste the nectar for which we are always anxious.

As old proverb goes - Cleanliness is next to godliness. This was quoted even by rat in great animation movie Ratatouille, while he was sniffing garbage to check it for poison.

I humbly ask all my readers to consider for yourself. If the newspaper is unreadable in so short while, how we can see things clear, using our mind, which we did not care to dust off for such along time. you say it is not dusty? I will answer by words of Voldemort: "He is not dead, because I did not kill him!" If you did not make endeavor to clean your mind, it IS dusty. Everything in this world gets stale and degrades. Let’s start form cleanliness of our environment - places we go, places we live. When we are in habit have clean environment - look at your friends! man is known by company he keeps. Go on be friends, just observe - how clean habits they have. Next will be cleaning of your own habits, 

Inner life starts, when you start to feel need to clean up your mind - want and not want, like and not like, clean your memories, dust them off, put in new order. Gradually you will star to feel a need to clean your intention, good and bad and why. That means you have come to clean your intelligence.

When some day you ask your self - who am I, why am I here, what is my purpose, this will indicate, that you reached the doorstep of your soul.

Happy journey on this path to all of you, my dear readers.

Your servant on this path

Atmarama dasa.

P.S. Please do not tell anyone about your reading or your inner cleaning process – you are doing it for their good anyway. They will feel de difference even without telling them. They will not blame you for being self-centered. They will know the inner gravity of yours. They will want to become your mind readers and it will keep them gessing, so your life will not be boring ever again.

Exodus

My dear reader!

Thank you very much for reading my previous posts and this one as well. I would like to invite all my readers to express their feedback on reading this. If you want to stay, I can only say, that all your inner thoughts and motives is not a secret even for people with extrasensory abilities, even more so for Supreme being, well known for His omnipotence. So - be honest with yourself - ho ahead and ask questions, share your experiences, just comment or give some advice, how to write better. If you wish to stay anonymous in this, I am not going to teach you, how to create some temporary identity - internet is very welcoming in this regard. In this writing I will tell you things, what are very der to me and even intimate, therefore this page is for very close friends. If you decide to share link to this, please make sure this is your close friend and he will not take it lightly or with judging attitude. People who are interested in finding their real self are very welcome.

Today I will introduce myself little bit more than you can find on Facebook, shortly analyze, why I am writing this and last - what I am practicing. As a storyline for this I will follow few points from second book from Old Testament - Exodus. That is history, religious and ethical book, most common in this part of the world. Exodus translates as "Names" or "Going out" and finishes with commandments, given to Moses.

My life story, worthwhile telling starts almost 30 years ago, 20 years before that has only few events I will tell. First memory in this life I have, when I was 6 days old, looking and listening to train, bringing me from my native town to Riga. My parents where bringing me to Valmiera region.

My fist experience with ancient India culture was at age of 5, when my father was reading short retelling of Mahabharata in Latvian, compiled in short book.

First time I asked myself, why I am born in this particular family was soon after that - probably at age of 6 or 7.

Most unforgettable experience of death came few years later, when giving answer to my question: "What is happening after death?", my mother answered: "You will be eaten by worms!". That day my usual walk to school took 2 hours longer. Why after that I was still very optimistic, I will tell you another time.

My first dreams of female temptation came soon after. That was ending in the same way every time - I did put blanket over her, saying some calming and kind words.

At age of 14 or so, seeing pilgrims walking towards Catholic holy church in Aglona, I decided, that it is not proper to go there without baptizing ritual. i went to river close by and performed it myself by submerging in water. Nothing more interesting all school years.

There were interesting meetings I was attending during my first year in Agricultural Academy in Jelgava. Some students, interested to find universal laws came together and discussed any book or magazine even slightly giving hint to that.

My attempt to find answers in Lutheran church Sunday school was no good, I was asked to stop attending those gatherings, due too much and too complicated questions.

Two years in Russian army went by with only one incident, when the Praporschik was drinking blood with vodka from freshly killed pig. This was my first step towards later tendency to not eat meat.

After army came period of Latvian folk song singing, out of them I liked most the mentioning of God and his laws.

During year 1989 I met first devotee, selling books and magazines on the street. That evening on the train I was singing mantras all the way from Riga to Jelgava. Here i will put my biography in pause. it is getting late and I want to touch other two pints.

This blog, called Bhakti Lata, translated as creeper of devotion, was created some 10 years ago, bur was sitting empty. Now I am writing here again. The main purpose is to share with others my search for my real self and how it led me to the pint of becoming follower of teachings, descending from supreme being Krishna. I also write for self-purification, since putting your thoughts on paper results in better self analysis, as well as some serious readers may get benefit.

I have to admit, that previous blog was directed to one very dear person in my life and I see in myself desire, that these writings are also attract attention. This time I want to go deeper and be more honest to myself and to my reader. There is also unwanted desire of many followers, reading this writing. If in some time it will not go away, I will reconsider to go on with this writing or not. Last thing I have to be careful about - posing realizations and wisdom as my own. Practically all ideas or words, worth following or listening are coming from more pure persons or scriptures. If you find something interesting or valuable, please give all credit to them. Without prolonged influence from these pure courses I would not be able to write even line of sense making text.

Now about my practical application. i decided to spend minimum 2-3 hours a day in prayers, meditating on Good's names. This is the conclusion I came to, and more detailed backup of this outcome will probably follow.

As I promised, story today ends in commandments given to Moses by God.

1.      You shall have no other gods before Me.

2.      You shall make no idols.

3.      You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

4.      Keep the Sabbath day holy.

5.      Honor your father and your mother.

6.      You shall not murder.

7.      You shall not commit adultery.

8.      You shall not steal.

9.      You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

10.  You shall not covet.

This is something for you to meditate on till tomorrow.

Wishing you all deep and lasting happiness

Atmarama dasa.

Inception

Good morning, my dear!

- How did you like our morning session of practical work? I can say thank you, for being with me most of the time. Did not notice much enthusiasm, pat at least you where patient and little bit interested.

-You know, I do not trust you much, but sometimes the places we go and things you say make sense to me and I am curious, what's coming next. You got my attention, by making that promise of yours, so I am going to stay with you, while you are doing your funny prayers, just to see, how everything will develop.

-Yes, I noticed, you liked the walk in the park in the morning, rising sun and especially the flowers. Here they are, in case it fades from your memory:

- I agree, they are beautiful, thank you for bringing me there.

- I am happy, you like them. You may wonder again, why I gave out talk today such uncommon title?!

- I know, you are going to try to same thing as in that movie - put some weird idea into my sub conscious mind.

- My dear! You are the mind! You decide - you like it or not. If you will like something so much, that you want to keep it, then it will stay yours, as long as you want to keep it, or replace with something better :) look at the dictionary! It means - beginning. Like Genesis.

- Ok, ok. Got your point. Tell me, what was your intentions!

- You may remember the part in movie, when Cobb went into Fishers dream, he had his task to fulfill, but he also gave some tool, how to recognize, that he was in the dream - "Try to remember, how you got here! Who you are? What was before!" In such a way he gave him a way to be real, almost awake, even in dream.

- Yes, that sounds like madness to me - falling asleep, going inside dream, while you have dream. I would send those people, who made this movie, to hospital.

- Sounds reasonable, but when they made this movie, they where not sleeping!! Anyways, point is, that there is way to recognize, that something is not real and there are few ways how to end the dream. Following movie plot, suicide is not preferred.

- Why would someone want to kill himself, just to wake up! That must be so terrible dream then!

- Agree, alarm clock is better. Other crucial point, which is not given much attention, but if you where attentive, it did not go unnoticed. Most of them went to sleep willingly. That is why I am thankful, that we go to sleep willingly, not because it is forced upon us - being too tired.

- Yes, but some work hard and are very tired in evenings! What’s wrong is that?

- Even they work hard with sense that there is tomorrow. If there is no tomorrow, why work at all?

- Common - look at yourself! you ar talking to me, like there is no tomorrow. I know, there is many things you want to tell me, but take it easy.  By the way, you must do your work too!

Oh, thanks for reminding! Therefore, I call you my friend! You remind me important things. You are my alarm clock. Take care, talk to you soon!

Arrival

My dear mind!

You may wonder, why I have given such a title to our conversation today. Please listen carefully, because by doing so you will be blessed with wonderful talent, which you have, but it is still sleeping. 

Who better than you know, what the sleep is. Every night you spend long hours alone and bored without fresh experiences. then you start creating something on your own. As you consider me to be your friend, you are showing me also your nice art. Now I ask you to remember those moments, when you had some unusual visions. They where a kind of déjà vu  - something from future or distant past. When I woke up, I was wondering too - how to tell, where it is coming from. From one side nothing like that has happened to me, from other side - it feels so familiar, so close, so natural, that it must be about me.

Now we come to the "Arrival". We both with great interest and satisfaction watched recent movie about alien heptopods. The amazing result of learning their language was also those déjà vu, which Louise had about the future of her own life.

The talent I was talking about, that you may discover during this our conversation, is your ability to have similar visions regularly and completely new experience of time. You know, I am not talking about daydreaming, which is like night reams - these are your wonderful, still unreal creations. I am very grateful to you for them, since I was also not bored by watching them, but after while, I had to return to my real life and dreams stayed in your realm. I am going to tell secret, that that type of language is also available to you, including all effects coming from it. I will give you a hint - look at the big title...

Time to take rest. Do not show much of your pictures tonight! Let us both have good sleep. Tomorrow we will have some practical work to do.

Good night!

Introduction.

My dear mind!

 I would like to introduce myself, but I do not know, who really I am. I can only refer to names, by which I am called by people around me. My parents gave me name Austris, although even they most of time called me son or darling son. For my siblings I was brother, for Russian kids on the street of my native town I was "латыш галдыш". For some time in school I had nicknames "china boy" and when I did not want to finish my music school, I was called "sailor", because at that time I wanted to become one. As student I was called "singer", due to my habit to spend all evenings walking around dormitories and singing. Later, as I was introduced to community of devotees, I was given name Atmarama dasa - servant of self satisfied. My travels to Thailand resulted to one more name - Anusorn, translated to tokes, something dear and important to give another person, when you are separated. Kallis (dear one) probably is last one.

This experience of talking to my own mind is quite new, so I will try to follow example and guidelines, how it was done by pure and soul, who was living in Bengal some 500 years ago. This is first verse from his poem "Shri Manah-shiksha"- instructions to the mind:

O my dear brother, my foolish mind, taking hold of your feet, I humbly pray to you with sweet words. Please give up all pride and quickly develop deep, loving attachment for the spiritual master, Śrī Vrajadhāma, the residents of Vraja, the Vaiṣṇavas, the brāhmaṇas, your dīkṣā-mantras, the holy names of the Supreme Lord, and the shelter of Śrī Śrī Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa, the eternally youthful Divine Couple of Vraja.

This will take a while, when I will approach you like that, but please be ready, that this dialogue with you will come to this.

Your friend